Lesson's and Learning Experiences.

These last two weeks have been crazy and Friday's have taken the biggest hit. So, here is a special Sunday post to make up for the missing Friday post where work and life came first.

 Week #1.
My husband and I raced against time all week. We bounced around all week from our garage to our parents garages working on projects. I honestly thought I would not be at the flea market selling my stuff by Saturday morning.  It was 7 pm on a Friday night and I've encountered just about everyone problem with my project. Our biggest problem: the nail gun! On top of that, I spent the week redoing all the work that had already been done; my frames had to be re-cut, re-sanded, and re-painted. We have just left my husband's parents place and where on our way to Home Depot again, BUT WHY? We were using a nail gun to place frames on the pictures.. it's not working right or were not working it right and were ruining all the hard work that had gone into the frames. I yelled at my husband in his parents driveway, "STOP! This isn't working!"... I call my step dad and ask "what do I do? " My step dad says nicely " then you do it the old fashioned way, you need to put all the nails in by hand". At this point in the day I'm pissed, I'm crabby, time has been wasted, projects aren't completed, I have a headache, and a goal to sell in the morning seems almost impossible. Not one frame has been nailed to the board the pictures are one and it's getting late. I have 15 pictures that need frames. I think there is no way this is getting done. We get to Home Depot at 7:30 pm to buy nails. We get to my parents garage at 8 pm. Keep in mind, if I want to sell at flea market I have to be there setting up by 5 am. That means a 4 am wake up time. I should be in bed at 8 pm, but I'm unloading my pictures and handmade frames into my parents garage. By the grace of God my family came together and between my husband, my step dad, my mom (watching my baby), and myself we get it all done by 10 pm. I couldn't believe it! We get home knowing we get a short nap and then we need to be on our way early...... Then we wake up at 4 am and it's STORMING! Mother nature had her own plan. I am left to try another day.

Week #2
It's Sunday about to start a new week and my relationship with my husband takes another hit. To be honest, our relationship took a lot of hits in the beginning and we don't need another one, but we get one anyway. Now we're married, we have a busy life that is hard to figure out, and BELIEVE ME when I say getting married and having a baby in the same year is HARD! It's like shit falls from the sky sometimes! After 3 days of crying and 2 straight days of talking things out....  We've realized where confusion might come from and that sometimes the past is better left in the past, especially when life has moved on. I thought my husband would be getting awake up call and he had all these lessons he still needed to learn. The thing is, it was me. I got a big lesson on trust and big lesson on how much my husband really means to me. At the end of the day, we love each other, we are a family, and we're learning how to stay together and get through things together. With all that happening, It also my first weekend to sell at the flea market. My anxiety has been woke up! My stomach has been living in my throat. Lets just say food isn't my friend this week. Flea market time is here. It's Friday and I have to be out at the flea market because there open early for the holiday weekend. Were out there by 6 am on Friday. My husband works over nights and has to be at work at 6 pm. He is sleeping in the vehicle as I am setting up and waiting/hoping for a sale with Claire. I sit there until about 1 pm. It's slow. There was more people the weekend before and it was raining!  I sat there and nothing.... the lady selling flowers across from me is the hottest vendor there! She's selling flowers as if they were free. I just sat there with my stomach in my throat. Nothing. Super disappointed. My husband tells me to wait and see how Saturday goes, knowing how busy the next day would get.
It's now Saturday and it's just Claire and I. I get up at 4:15 am. I get her in the car seat and the car is already packed up (she's still sleeping thank GOD) and we're off. My mother and father-in-law meet me out there later with a tent, just in case it rains, and some change because we forgot to go the bank. Four hours go by and NOTHING! I sell a couple books I brought out and I receive lots of compliments, offers on my child, but no buys. Seriously!!! Why compliment and then walk away?! So, I decide to change the price on my work and see how that goes.... Then finally all in a row I sell 3 pictures to the flower vendor across from me and then 3 more pictures flea market shoppers. Thank GOD, because I really was starting to feel bad.

Now the experience is over. I met some nice people and step outside of my little box. At the end of it all, I didn't meet the little goal in the back of my mind, but for the first time strangers bought some of my art work. Hopefully that might be the start of something. I also realize Art Fairs are a must, I have a lot of trial and error to go, a market to discover, an audience to build, and I have so much more to learn.  I'm going to see the flea market project through and give it a few more tries. I will also work on getting a business together and putting my name out there....
I have been dodging vulnerability my whole life and here it is slapping me in the face. It's in my work, and now it's in my relationship's. I feel fully exposed. Such a weird feeling that is leaving me shy and speechless. Here I am and I must continue to more forward and give life my all.

Pictures from the weekend:

 Claire and I on the first Saturday out. It's windy and cold. My face shows the impact of Minnesota weather by being both burnt and cold.

Claire sleeping in the SUV while I work.

My booth and my work is laid out!

This Friday I will post some new pictures I have taken and some painting I will be starting!

Taking a moment for my family...

This weekend I will be celebrating my Birthday and my first Mother's Day..... I'm extremely excited for my first Mother's Day. My daughter gives so much meaning to my life and I can't wait to eat some kind of Sunday brunch in celebration.
To be real, the last two weeks I've spent most of my time with my daughter, and I have taken the time I normally spend on doing things like painting and taking pictures, on my relationship. My husband is a very, very busy man. He spends most of his time addicted to work, and little time he has left is spent with us or sleeping. Since it's our first year of marriage and we have an infant I've been trying to figure out (as I am sure my husband is too) how to make everything we both want functional. It isn't easy! My frustrations, patience, words, time, thoughts, and love have all been spent in the last two weeks only on my family. So far, we have agreed and achieved 5 hours of family time a week. Everything else is still a work in progress. We also took some time last weekend for each other and we had a really good date, thanks babe! To those woman trying to figure out a family, I'm there, I'm in the beginning of it all! Everyday there is something to learn. Some weeks are super hard and some days are long but it's all wonderful. In some odd way it best thing ever. At the end of the day family is the most important to me. It has to be! I had a single mom growing up and a biological father who showed up once every few years just to be asshole and walk out again. My secret dream in life was to have a family. I hoped I could find a man who was together and goodhearted enough to love, be loved, and to want to be a family. I found JT. Thank God because I wasn't so sure if I'd ever get here but I'm here. I have no idea how to do this family thing especially in a two parent household, so I am working. I am working on myself, my marriage, being a good mom, and maintaining who I am and growing into who I want to be. In process of it all, I can't give up on this professional dream either.
Today is beautiful and today I restart the process into my art venture and keep working toward those goals I have set in my head.

Happy Mother's Day to all the mom's out there!

For the Love of Dogs

A Bond with a Dog

My dog's name is Max, I have had Max since I was 20 years old and this September, I will have had Max for 8 years. He's getting older; his movement is greatly decreasing, his excitement is calming down, and his face is slowly graying. Unfortunately, my dog is getting old. On top of that, this year has not been a good year for Max. He started losing hair a little over a year ago; It started with patches on his face and neck, then his entire neck, and eventually his whole body. We were in and out of the vet. No one seemed to have any answers at first, but they had lots of maybe's and those maybe's came with dollars signs behind them. WE'RE STRESSED and worried! At that time, we just were finding out that i'm pregnant and we're in the middle of planning and paying for our wedding. 

As the week of our wedding approached we hit a turning point. Max collapsed down the stairs and had problems walking. It turned out he was put on a medicine that could of killed him. Thankfully a concerned vet helped us out and we got through our wedding week but of course, not with out some tears. When we got home from our wedding bliss, it was time to really figure out what was going on with Max. First, Max is just treated for hair loss and the vet expresses that something is causing a weak immune system, we just don't know what it is yet. Then a couple weeks later Max gets a huge hot spot almost overnight. We quickly find out that Max has cancer.......

 I felt like a such a mess that day. Here I am 6 months pregnant and the vet comes in and tells us it's mass cells. Instantly I'm trying to hold back the tears! As we go through the options I'm balling, and when she leaves the room I am sobbing. I hate crying in public and the clinic ECHOS, but I just couldn't help it. I was a disaster. I was a disaster for a whole week. In fact, my husband yelled at me saying " He isn't dead yet, stop it!"  But Max has just been such a rock in my life and seeing him sick killed me. So in the last year Max has had non stop vet visits and has been through:

• A few medicines and shampoos
• Mites that caused hair loss due to a weak immune system 
• Cancer
• Surgery to have cancer removed (took two weeks to heal)
• A period of weekly tonic baths to get the hair to come back
• Ear infection
• Yeast infections
• Allergies
• Hot spots (they look like road rash and bleed!)

 I value him because he'e been such a GREAT DOG. I have never had a companion like Max until I found my husband. I know weird but it's the truth. Anyone who has ever met Max knows he's rare! Even our vet Dr. Sarah has become quite fond of him and thanks to her Max is doing the best he can do right now.

FINDING A BOND WITH A DOG

I mentioned above that I was just 20 years old when I got Max. I had a bad day and my early twenties where really tough. That day for some reason, I was having a bad day. I thought maybe if I go to the Humane Society it will make my day a little better. Of course, I found Max that day. I paced up and down the kennels most dogs barking insanely or nervous as can be! Then I saw Max. He was different. He wasn't barking. He wasn't busy. When I would stare, he would stare right back. He seemed calm and in a Humane Society! There was something about him. I paced the kennels a little longer but I knew, I just knew he was MY DOG! I put a deposit down on him that day and came back a couple days later to bring him home for the rest of his life. My roommates about had a heart attack when I brought in 80 pounds of black dog! One my roommates screamed and Max turned around and peed on her couch! He was funny too! 

Bringing him home wasn't easy. I think Max was abused.... and whoever abuses innocent animals deserves a beating themselves! For the first month, Max would only lay under the canopy I had around my bed and wouldn't move. It seemed to be the ONLY place he felt safe. I had to hand feed him and carry, YES CARRY, an 80 pound dog to and from the bathroom. Finally I took the canopy down and I started to socialize him slowly. That was a journey. It's almost been a life long journey. I took everywhere I could. I took him around people he could trust. Slowly Max started to trust and feel more comfortable being a social dog. Together we have been through 7 different living situations, many roommates, heartache, college, growing closer with family, and growing into a family. Max has been there to cry on when I've been through break up's, when I found out my uncle had cancer, when my uncle died of cancer, when I found out my Grandma had cancer, when she died from cancer, when I was alone, and when I found he had cancer. He's has helped grow the close bond I share with my Aunt and cousin (because man we all love him), he has been there when I found love, when I moved in with my husband, when I married my husband, and when I brought home my first baby. There has been so many milestone and challenges I've experience in the last 8 years and through them all there has been a really great dog, Max. 

Max and I on my wedding day

(Lacoursiere Photography)

Our Dynamic Dog Duo

My husband just had gotten Stormy when we started dating and even our dogs have grown to love one another.

I can't forget... Stormy

She's exhausted from all the picture taking!!!

For the Love of Dogs!

P.S. I Guess I am 4 months old this week!